How to make AI write like you
You already know the feeling. You ask it to write something, and what comes back is fine, and it is instantly not you. Here is how I fixed that for myself, in about an hour, using writing I already had.
Jump to the promptWhy it does not sound like you
AI writes like the average of everything it has read, and the average of all writing is smooth, agreeable and a little bloodless. That is why it reaches for the same handful of moves no matter who is asking. The em dashes. The phrases nobody says out loud. The paragraph that opens by restating your question back to you.
Telling it “write in a casual tone” does almost nothing, because casual is not a voice, it is a setting. Your voice is a pile of very specific habits: the words you reach for, the length of your sentences, how you deliver bad news, what you would be embarrassed to say. None of that fits in an adjective.
What does work is showing it your actual writing and then making it interview you about the parts the writing does not explain.
What you need before you start
Less than you think. I used a couple hundred of my own old emails, some letters I had written, old Instagram captions, and the transcripts from my first two videos. The good ones, the bad ones and the embarrassing ones, because the embarrassing ones are the most honest sample you own.
Your sent folder is the single best source and almost nobody thinks of it. It is years of you writing naturally to real people with no performance in it. Grab a range of situations rather than a stack of the same kind of message: something to a friend, something to your boss, something where you were annoyed, something where you had to deliver bad news.
Twenty pieces is plenty. This is not a data problem, it is a specificity problem.
The part that does the most work
Make it interview you
This is the step people skip and it is the one that matters. After it has read your writing, have it ask you questions, one at a time. How would you respond in this situation? What about that one? What is the vibe you want at work versus with friends?
Your writing samples show it what you have already written. The interview gets at what you would write in situations that are not in the pile, which is most of them.
Build the never list, and be petty about it
Ask it for a long list of the words and phrases that AI reaches for, then go through and mark every one that makes you wince. Mine has em dashes at the top and anything that smells like hype right behind it.
Be specific and be unreasonable here. “Delve.” “It is not just X, it is Y.” “In today’s fast paced world.” The list feels petty while you are writing it and it is the highest-value part of the whole file, because recognizing what is not you is much easier than defining what is.
Keep the words that are genuinely yours
Every ban list has false positives. A few words on mine got flagged as AI tells and they are honestly just words I use, so I put them on a keep list instead.
Without that, you end up with an AI that has been trained to edit the real you out of your own writing, which is the exact opposite of the point.
Calibrate on two real drafts
Have it write something you actually need, then mark up what is off. Not “make it better,” specifically what is wrong: this sentence is too short, I would never start a sentence that way, this is trying too hard.
Feed each correction back into the file as a rule. Two rounds got me from close to right. Mine now has a whole section on sentence grammar that only exists because I kept catching the same problem twice.
The one rule I set
It can help me draft. It does not get to overwrite my writing or my voice.
That sounds small and it is the whole thing. Without it, you get an assistant that quietly smooths your sentences into better sentences, and better is not the goal. The line that carries the point is usually the roughest one, and it is rough because you meant it.
Write that rule into the file directly. Something like: you may help me draft, you may not rewrite my own words to make them sound better, and if you think a line of mine is weak, say so and let me decide.
The prompt
I want you to help me build a voice file: a document that describes how I write, so that anything you draft for me in the future actually sounds like me. I am attaching samples of my own writing in this same message. They cover a range of situations on purpose, including ones I am not proud of. Work through this in order, and do not skip ahead. STEP 1 - READ AND REPORT Read everything I attached. Tell me what you notice about how I write: sentence length and rhythm, the words I reach for, how I open and close, how I handle disagreement, what I do when the subject is serious. Quote real examples from my samples. Do not flatter me. STEP 2 - INTERVIEW ME Ask me questions the samples cannot answer, ONE AT A TIME, waiting for my answer before the next one. Around eight questions, maximum. Ask about situations that are not in the samples, how I want to sound in different settings, and anything in the writing that seemed inconsistent. STEP 3 - THE NEVER LIST Give me a long list of words and phrases that AI writing typically overuses. I will tell you which ones make me cringe. Then ask me what else I never want to see, in my own words. STEP 4 - THE KEEP LIST Some of those flagged words are genuinely mine. Ask me which ones to protect, so you never edit them out of my writing later. STEP 5 - WRITE THE FILE Produce the voice file. Include: how I sound and why, sentence-level habits with real examples from my samples, my never list, my keep list, how the voice changes by format, and two or three full examples of my actual writing as the gold standard. Include this rule word for word: "You may help me draft. You may not rewrite my own words to make them sound better. If you think a line of mine is weak, say so and let me decide." STEP 6 - CALIBRATE Use the file to draft something real for me. I will mark up what is off. Turn every correction into a rule and update the file. We will do this twice.
Save the finished file somewhere you own, as plain text. Paste it into a project or your custom instructions, and re-attach it any time you switch tools.
Three honest things
It gets you close, not perfect. Mine is good enough that a draft starts as something I edit instead of something I rewrite, and that is the entire win. I still change lines in everything.
It does not make anything true. Sounding like you and being right are unrelated problems. That one has its own guide.
Where is your line? This is the part I am still working out honestly. I am fine with AI drafting something I then make mine. I would not be fine with it writing something personal and me signing my name to it untouched. You should decide where that line sits for you before you build the thing, not after.
Guides go out to the newsletter before they go anywhere else. No hype, no daily emails, just the things that held up when I actually used them.